As parents and human beings, people with children have the tendency to resort to hasty methods instilled within themselves as children as they do with their own children. As a result, the cyclical nature of the child rearing experience begets the essence for why people take certain routes of action over others when disciplining their children. Thus, resisting that which is familiar or learning to unlearn socially ingrained parenting systems can help to elicit positive behavioral results in one’s children and one’s confidence in their parenting style, time and again. In conjunction with the advent of modern psychology, discipline and the subject of parenting have undergone massive re-adjustments in society’s understanding of the mind.
Acclimatizing to these drastic shifts in social thinking can help one undo time trusted traditions in child rearing that hinder the healthy and robust development of a sound moral compass.
Like children, it is extremely relieving for adults to yell and have a verbal outburst when confronted with another person’s dissatisfying behavior. Raising one’s voice immediately gets the attention of the others, allowing one to freely communicate their grievance or discontentment with how the situation is going. However, when dealing with children (and adults) this is typically an ineffective method for rectifying bad behavior through discipline. Often those who yell assume an authoritarian style of parenting which can take the affection out of being a parent. Shouting can also terrify or make children resent their parent. A modification of this parenting style still effectively gets a child’s attention, while also reducing the energy expelled and potential terror a child could endure during a parenting “breakdown”. Instead one can sternly walk up to their children and speak face to face while clearly providing them with a concrete or vivid explanation of the looming consequences. Following through is the key to this exercise.
Issuing empty threats to your child is breath that’s wasted. Without following through with one’s intended consequences a child gains a warped understanding of the distinction between their behavior and a sound conception of cause and effect. For some doctors, this style of parenting is permissive, and allows children to get away with misbehavior. Moreover, it also conditions them into thinking that their parent is untrustworthy.
Instead, a useful modification to this parenting style surprisingly gives oneself a time out while also explaining to the child the reasons why one is angry. Here the parent can have time to construct an effective consequence without jumping at the first idea that permits a temporary emotional relief.
Voice your Concerns
In simple terms, resorting to the silent treatment as an effective method of disciplining just makes children uncomfortable. Since children and adults alike require acknowledgment and inclusion, shutting children out as a punishment is an ineffective way of parenting which only temporarily relieves distress when encountering sub-par behavior. Instead, simply informing the child that one is angry and needs time to not speak with the child may suffice as a disciplinary measure. For instance, if a child is misbehaving one can keep a book on hand to pull out which indicates to the child that one has something to do until the child is ready to conform.